Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Tea for Two?

I have always wanted to boast that I am dedicated tea drinker. I don't know why. It just seems such a proper civilized thing to do. Have an afternoon tea.
All those visions of proper people sipping away float in my mind. Pinky held high. And tea always seems to sound so much better for you.
I have gone on my spurts of drinking tea. Usually when I am trying to fight off illness,or just can't seem to warm myself from frigid weather.
But I much prefer the thickness of coffee,the intensity of it.
The smell,richness,ah,yes,the fact that you can properly drive through a Starbucks stressed to the max, and seem civilized to order yet another cup of water brewed intensity.
And I recently came across a few images that back my thinking up of why I for one, will not fall for the deception that proper people drink tea.

For example this woman. What on earth is she so happy about?

This is just not natural. Look at the way she is staring at her cake or whatever she has on her plate. Whatever it is, it seems to be dripping in some sort of chunky frosty which should be enough to wipe that silly grin off her face right then and there.
And the way everything if properly arranged and the pressed clothing. No,no,no.
This is just not right. But wait a minute. That might be a coffee pot on her table and not a tea pot.
I knew it!!! Poser, nothing but a poser. The worst kind of tea drinkers. Not willing to stand up for the watery brew but hide behind the strength of coffee.

Exhibit #2

Whoever created this postcard should have stopped and did us all a favor the minute he whipped out his canvas. This woman just looks evil. I mean who looks like this when they are drinking tea? An evil tea drinker. Who would've thought they would go hand in hand. Tea....evil....nope,never would have thought.

And speaking of hands, there is just something strange about her hands. They are so small. Or is it really that her head is so big?
Could be the effects of drinking to much tea. Its called tea brain bloat which also causes atrophied hands. I knew all that cup and saucer raising and pinking pointing would have its serious side effects.

I will take the liberty to deviate slightly here to add one other hot beverage comment. Hot chocolate. I am not sure where I stand on this. I think that perhaps I haven't really had anyone make me a really good cup of hot chocolate.
But then again,maybe I would rather actually eat my chocolate. Bite it and not sip it. But until I totally decide here is a vintage food poster that makes me lead towards not. No, definetely not going to drink hot chocolate with this clown. Literally.

Need I say more?????

And finally,proof positive that tea drinkers are actually supporting the very uncivilized pratice of tea picking. How anyone could support such an uncivilized practice is beyond me. Yep,its coffee for me. I am sure you will agree after watching this pitiful consequence of the tea drinking industry. Far more serious than tea brain bloat.

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jackielacie said...

well o.k.,,, I couldn't keep my mouth shut! She WAS drinking tea, and as she peered into the empty cup, the leaves spelled out either: "A. claw through that piece of gingerbread cake and you shall find. a GIGANTIC diamond ring with a proposal of marriage by a dark & mysterious stranger with a hint of Chocolate on his ruby red lips!"...OR "B. Ha! You have just eaten a teeney, weeny tiny capsule filled with a fatally potent poison from deep in the Jungles of the Amazon hidden there by your evil tea-drinking, feathered-hat wearing rival! B'Bye!" That's my story and I'm sticking to it...Thanks for another Quirky and Quirked blog!...jackiebytheocean

marjibeth said...

ok, it's tea, but what's in the tea? Are we sure those are cakes? Looks like something that should be served with a fine chianti and fava beans ... know what I mean? I think she resides in an asylum where the staff has seated her at a remote table so she won't agitate the other patients ... what do you think? But I do love her blouse!

LadyCat said...

Hey my dear,love the blog! I am a most dedicated tea drinker, my mother's family is Scottish and we were weaned on tea. But by far the best hot chocolate in the entire *Universe* is in Italy (my husband was born in Rome and we have property there). Remember the kind of chocolate pudding that you used to have to cook? It has that texture, you could (and I sometimes do) eat it with a spoon! I have found nothing like it here in Canada, when we go we bring back cases of it. Once I had Aztec hot chocolate and it had black pepper and hot pepper in it, it was the best hot chocolate on a rainy day that I have ever had in my life! I really could go for some right now!

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